The Army Truck

The Army Truck

Friday, August 31, 2012

The First Official Aggie Email

Yaaaaawwwwwwnnnnn. I would have never guessed that not watching the Ags play La. Tech would be just as boring as watching it. I hate Thursday night football, and now I have nothing to do except worry about the Florida game which is over a week away. It’s too early to start talking about the Florida game. That’s next week. So what should we talk about this week? If I came up with a silly joke, who would it be about? Who should I make fun of?

I can think of a certain socialist disguised as a democrat that I could work over, but even in Texas you run the risk of accidentally offending the occasional democrat. And then again, as I think it through there is the idea of what would happen if Hawaii’s own Harvard-educated Chicago Community Activist ran college football. I’m assuming at the beginning of each season teams like Alabama, USC and Michigan would have to give teams like Bowling Green, UNT and Tulane 40% of their athletic budget, because, you know, those that can afford to give a little more should do it. It’s only fair. I bet all those democrats in Austin would be singing a different tune then…

But politics is probably off limits.

Religion? That might even be a stretch for me.

I guess there’s “stuff” to talk about.

- It was announced this week that the A&M Arkansas game would return to Arlington next season and for the foreseeable future. And while it was not officially announced, it has been rumored that part of the negotiations with Arkansas included Arkansas stepping aside and allowing the Ags to make the LSU game our new annual Thanksgiving game. Turkey gumbo?

- I’ve noticed that the papers are discussing how t.u. is playing “SEC-like football”. If that’s just like playing actual SEC football, then I’m going to go get Theresa some “diamond-like” jewelry. “Don’t come in the bedroom kids, I’m expecting something just like genuine appreciation…”

- The Ags have announced plans for a replaced/renovated Kyle Field that would be larger and more impressive than anything yet seen by human eyes. If history is any indication our historically frugal former students will spring for something slightly less than overwhelming. We’ll plan for Adele (Big and Beautiful) and wind up with Macy Gray (well, big anyway…).

- Jerome Solomon stated in his Houston Chronicle article that he never thought a school like A&M would hire a black head coach (I guess because we’re all racists?). Ironically between Austin and College Station, the Ags have a much better record of hiring diversity at top positions, but perceptions can be hard to deal with. For example, I perceive that Jerome Solomon is a moron.

There’s probably more, but I can’t think of anything. The off-season sucks. Having the first game of the season cancelled feels very much like high-school dating. You’ve waited soooooo long. All the anticipation. You’re almost there. You start to get “that feeling”. Everything looks like it’s going to work out. You even went to the store to get a raincoat (so to speak) for protection. And then before you can even get the damn thing out of its package everything stops abruptly and you have to go home. It seems like everyone else is getting to do it. But not you! And no amount of sound reasoning will convince you of anything except that you got hosed! #*&^#$!!!

Sorry. I got stuck in a flashback.

Anyway, we’ll be back at it next week. For our first game of the season we have the Florida Gators coming to town. I’ll probably have something better to say next week. With any luck I’ll get to use that raincoat.


Gig ‘em and Beat The Hell Outta Rain Delay!

Chuck ‘96

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