Holy Cr*p this is a Big Game!

This is it. It may well be the biggest game of the Big 12’s last meaningful season and it’s happening in College Station on Saturday afternoon at 2:30 PM. The Fightin’ Texas Aggies vs. the Oklahoma State "Fabulous" Cowboys. It will feature two top ten teams, several future first round NFL draft choices, big time offense, a tremendous crowd, lots of national exposure and more Brokeback Mountain jokes than you've probably heard in a couple of years.

Who in the world would want to miss that? Mickey Mouse. That’s who. Apparently Steamboat Willie feels that watching LSU curb-stomp (get it?) the Mountaineers is a better use of the ESPN College Game Day crew’s “talents”. Oh well, I guess that’s part of the deal when you spit in ESPN’s eye.

OK. Who watched the Idaho game? Well, me for one. And then over 86,000 other people came to Kyle Field to see that game as well. The defense allowed fewer than 100 yards and didn’t let the Vandals cross the 50 through three quarters. We did give up some trash yards on their final possession. Meh. Our offense methodically put up 37 points, mostly through the air, and Cyrus Gray got his 9^th consecutive 100+ yard game. Jeff Fuller and Ryan Swope had some great catches and Tanny went another game without being sacked. Another ho hum butt-kicking. Idaho wasn’t a bad team, they were just over-matched. We played the way you want to play a game like that. Solid, simple, relatively mistake-free football.

It’s time to unleash the hounds, or Collies as the case may be. I can’t wait to see this match-up. Since I bombed with the mic in my hands at the tailgate on Saturday I decided to bring back a favorite from emails past to make up for it.

Here it is folks. The joke.

So, Ol’ Rock is down in Mexico, exploring the local culture, tequila and food. He stops into a little cantina, sits down and orders a drink. Across the way he sees Pistol Pete dressed up like a bull fighter. He looks over the menu notices the waiter bring a plate of something to Pete and boy does it smell good. So Rock asks the waiter what Pete’s having. The waiter replies “Ah, senor, that is a wonderful delicacy. It is bull testicles from the bull fight this morning. A beautiful tradition and wonderful way to experience the local culture. In fact, Senor Pete has even decided to be the matador manana.”

Rock thinks, what the hell? Why not? “Can you go ahead and bring me a plate of those too? It sure looks good.”

The waiter says, “I’m so sorry senor, but we’re out. There’s only one bull fight each day, but if you come by in the morning and place your order we’ll be happy to prepare it for you.”

So in the morning Rock comes in and places his order and prepares to come back that evening. That night when he arrives at the restaurant he doesn’t see Pete, but the waiter has been expecting Rock and welcomes him. When he brings out the dinner it looks different to Rock. The chunks on the plate are small and it smells a little off. Rock waves the waiter over. "Say, this doesn't look very good tonight. I think I'll have something else if that's alright with you. May ask, by the way, why is it so different from last night?"

The waiter looks at Rock and says, "Well, senor, sometimes the bull wins."

And that's exactly what we're going to do to 'em Ags!

This is really going to be a great football game. 2:30 PM on ABC. Two top-ten teams. Explosive offenses. The weather is going to be warm and sunny. The tailgate is going to be awesome. We have a band coming, the ever-popular Jeannie (the bartender), lots of food and beer. Family fun for everyone. More fun for a few of us. Please come on out and have a good time at the tailgate. Tickets or not. We'll be serving food at around 11:30 AM and again after the game.

You know where we are. Just go out the East entrance to Reed Arena. Look for the Army truck, the Fire Truck and all those people in maroon.

Gig 'em and Beat the Hell Outta OSU!

Chuck '96

P.S. "Like" us on Facebook. "The Aggie Tailgate" Post your pictures, leave witty messages, no nudes, please (Paul).

Idaho 2011

I want to talk about the upcoming game against the University of Idaho, but I'm having trouble getting past the soap opera that has become the collapse of the Big 12. I'm going to do my best. Please forgive me when it all goes awry.

Here's what I can tell you about Idaho:

They are called "The Vandals" and they play in an indoor stadium called the Kibbie Dome. The Kibbie Dome looks like a converted airplane hanger and it holds about 16,000 people (smallest in D-1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kibbie_Dome .

Average attendance is 8,000 - 10,000. They play in the WAC (Fresno St., Hawaii, La. Tech, Nevada, New Mexico St., San Jose St., Utah St.)

That's pretty much all I know. I heard the Tank (coach Sherman) speak very highly of the coaching staff and several veteran players. I heard the same from some of the players at the weekly presser. What that really tells you is the the Tank has done a great job of either 1. putting the right future politicians (err... liars) in front of the microphone or 2. actually keeping this team focused in spite of the circus atmosphere they're living in. Either way I'm impressed.

I kind of like that they're the "Vandals". The name is the result of being dubbed such in a 1917 student newspaper article and it stuck. Apparently the basketball team played such ferocious defense that they "vandalized" opposing teams. To get a name like that today you'd have to get it through the committee. I'm not sure what committee, but you can bet your potato loving butt there would be a committee. The committee would probably suggest a name like "the Sandals" because it sounds like "Vandals" but everyone loves sandals or "the Rascals" which is just like a vandal but much less so.

So, welcome to Texas you lovable Idahoans. They're really called that. I checked. I can't think of anything better. Seems like there's probably a good (or bad) joke in there somewhere.

I wasn't in Vegas this week to check the line on the game. I heard the spread was A&M minus eleventy billion. Not sure though.

Speaking of eleventy billion. That's the latest economic impact estimate being floated by the Baylor people as a result of A&M leaving the Big 12. Ken Starr, Baylor's president and former blue dress investigator, went to Washington D.C. this week. I'm not sure what will come of it, but if Congress can't help him I understand he's prepared to appeal to a higher authority, Oprah.

In all seriousness though, Ken Starr sucks. This is a little beyond pathetic. It's like when someone refuses to sign divorce papers, because, you know, that almost always (i.e. never) works out. There are tons of Ags looking for ways to punish Baylor with boycotts, smear campaigns, refusing to play, etc. I'm not sure what we could possibly do to them that would be more humiliating than what they're doing to themselves. I mean, at the end of they day, they're still "Scrubby little Baylor" (per Jim Rome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj-VinD6jEc ).

Maybe the most interesting thing that's happened here lately is that t.u. might be headed to the ACC. The ACC? Really? Well, they really want to keep this Longhorn Network and none of the big conferences will allow it. So, t.u. may wind up playing in a conference where Florida State is the closest team (868 miles). Those trips are going to be fun.

How ironic would it be if t.u. winds up in a much worse position athletically because of this ESPN TV deal? I imagine a shriveled, bug-eyed, Deloss Dodds on an empty TV broadcast set clutching his ESPN contract in his bony little fingers muttering to himself something about "my precious, my precious". I can't remember if this is what it looked like right before Enron skidded off into a ditch. Seems like it.

Too big to fail. Ha. It's funny when you talk to sips about the whole thing that one of their honest answers about why this will work out for them is "we're Texas". They really believe that being the University of Texas at Austin is a virtue in and of itself, that if Mankind won't give them a fair shake certainly God will (or "fate" for the godless hippie atheists in Austin). They're oblivious to the fact that 12 schools have won more national championships in football than they have and that outside of the state they are viewed as being very much like lots of other "football" schools.

Anyway, that's my rant for today, I guess. I'm pretty excited about the tailgate this weekend. I think the weather is going to be decent. Game time is 6:00 PM. It's only available on TV via pay per view, so you better some on out. We'll be grilling this weekend. Burgers, dogs, chicken, sausage and whatever else shows up. Tons of food for everyone. You got something you want cooked? You bring it, I'll burn it.

Next Weekend is the OSU game. Two top-ten teams on national television. All indications are that this game will be wheels off. I wanted to reach out to everyone now to make sure you can come on down.

Gig 'em and Beat the Hell Outta Idaho!

Chuck '96

Flashback Thursday

Written July 29, 2010

So, I was sitting in my backyard, drinking some maroon kool-aid, when I was
overcome with the strong belief that this is going to be a very good year to
be an Aggie. It would be correct to point out that I get this feeling every
year about this time. I would counter that I've been right most of the
time. It's always good to be an Aggie. :)

But as it relates to football specifically, I'd like to reaffirm my position
that things are headed in the right direction. We are a trendy pick to be
the surprise team in the Big 12. The media is actually buying into what
we're selling. That hasn't happened very often in the last ten years. Here
are a few tidbits to ponder as the off-season FINALLY starts to wind down
(thank God Almighty).

1. Great teams are led by great quarterbacks. And we have a darn good one
in Jerrod Johnson. Check out this page;
http://football.aggieathletics.com/ There
are interviews and highlight videos of Jerrod. He's one hell of a QB and a
high character young man on top of it. If you aren't impressed by him, your
standards are too high and your observatinal skills questionable.

2. Texas A&M had the #5 Offense in the country last year and is returning
all of its skill position players. It is not unwarranted bravado to say
that each of our skill position starters on offense is good enough to start
for ANY team in the country. Points will not be a problem in 2010. There
are five legitimate, *exciting, game-changing* players to watch on offense.
Jerrod Johnson (ESPN's #1 player in the Big 12, QB), Christine Michael
(violent runner, awesome to watch, RB), Cyrus Gray (can blow through a hole
like Montezuma's Revenge, RB), Jeff Fuller (ESPN's #20 player in the Big 12,
WR), Uzoma Nwachukwa (fast, jumps high, great hands, awesome, WR). Plus,
I'm hearing that as exciting as these receivers were last year, they may
have to fight to keep their starting jobs from Ryan Swope and incoming fish,
Nate Askew.

3. Texas A&M's defense is sporting a returning first-team All American for
the first time in ages. Von Miller is also a Playboy pre-season all
American this year, led the nation in sacks last year (17), and will be
given every chance to repeat as sack champ in 2010 (Check this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu7wh1VNnEo). That's not to say that there
aren't questions on defense. There clearly are. But I think we'll see a
significant improvement. The DB's are solid. The LB's are overall pretty
solid, plus a couple of game changing studs. The line is the question.
There were some flashes of real talent last year, but not enough. We'll
have to see how they perform. We won't be deep on the line, but we could be
decent enough to be ok. It's the the weak point on the defense.

4. Texas A&M's new defensive coordinator, Tim Deruyter, ran dominant
defenses at Air Force. That's right, I said Air Force. They obliterated
the Houston's top 5 offense last year in the Armed Forces Bowl. My point is
that he must know how to put a defense together using inferior talent. What
might he be able to do with middle-of-the-road talent? I expect good
things. A top 50 defense will be enough to make us scary good. Top 30 and
we could win 10.

Other things:
We finished in the top ten (#6) for the Learfield Director's Cup, given to
the school with the overall best athletic department. We beat out the
Obama-lovers to the West (#13). You can express whatever frustration you
want for our lack of success in football, but it's hard to deny that we're
better in every other sport than we were 10 years ago. And we're poised for
another good run in 2010 - 2011. We won back to back national championships
in Men's and Women's Track & Field. That's a legitimate, albeit
unprofitable, sport.

All of that said, I'm just feeling good about being an Aggie. It's time to
get excited about football. Here's the schedule.

9/4 Stephen F. Austin
9/11 La. Tech
9/18 Florida International
10/2 @ Oklahoma State
10/9 Arkansas (in Arlington)
10/16 Missouri
10/23 @ Kansas
10/30 Texas Tech
11/6 Oklahoma
11/13 @ Baylor
11/20 Nebraska
11/25 @ t.u.

Say what you will, but I could see us being 8 - 0 when OU comes to town.
Check out this video to get a little pumped up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9CvB4mbJys


Gig 'em and Beat the Hell Outta SFA!
-Chuck '96