It’s Friday morning and I once again find myself in a new and exotic land with a slight headache. This time my host city sounds like something from a Milton Bradley game. It’s Sugarland, a whimsical place with gumdrop traffic lights, lollipop stop signs, crowded freeways, no zoning, and a Starbucks at nearly every intersection. Yeah, in spite of the name it’s still just Houston. But, I have a little time for reflection which historically has proven to be a good thing at least once out of every three times it happens. Here’s hopin’.
Not much going on in Aggie football this week. Sam Houston State is coming to town. The squad from Huntsville is playing well, although they are an FCS team (formerly Div 1 AA). They are 8-2 and are a legitimate title contender in their division. They play sound football, don’t turn it over, run the ball well, and play excellent run defense. My hope is that the Aggies play perfect football. It’s really all you can do against a team like this. If Johnny Effin’ Football goes 20-22 for 250 yards and 4 TD’s and runs for another 100+ yards that’s a good outing. You can’t run up the score, but I don’t think you’re obligated to let them score necessarily. The game is at 2:30 and is only available in Texas on pay per view. Outside of Texas it will be available on ESPN Gameplan. We’ll be serving fajitas at the tailgate. Please come on out. We’d love to have you.
Aside from that there’s not much going on.
Oh, well there was that one thing. The Ags went to Tuscaloosa on Saturday and took down the number one team in college football on the road in dramatic fashion and has been the darling of the media since then with non-stop coverage of Johnny Effin’ Football and his potential as a Heisman finalist on account of his nearly perfect game against the number one defense in the country.
But apart from that, not much is going on in Aggieland.
If you didn’t see it, there’s something clearly wrong with you. But I’ll give you the “world as Chuck sees it” account of the game. Bama wins the toss and is not going to let JFF have the ball first. I’d like to make fun of them for this, but it’s just smart. Our defense forces a three and out and JFF gets his first crack at Bama. God created Johnny out of 195 pounds of pure energy combined with 10 pounds of badass, and a few plays later the Ags scored. Bama gets the ball makes a play or two and then our defense forces Bama’s first interception of the season after a safety delivers a crushing blow to the receiver just after he catches the ball and the ball pops out. Johnny dashes back on the field after using his super powers to return power to thousands of New Yorkers between possessions, and a few plays later the Ags scored. Bama gets the ball and goes three and out. Johnny makes sure the person he just resuscitated with the kiss of life is ok and returns to the field where, a few plays later, the Ags scored. End of the first quarter the score is 20-0 Ags (we missed another extra point).
A bunch of other stuff happens.
Fourth quarter, the Ags are hanging on to a precarious lead. Now only up 23-17 the Ags get the ball. Johnny calmly places his hand on Coach Kevin Damn Sumlin’s shoulder and says “Be at peace”, walks out on the field (although it appears his feet don’t actually touch the ground), and a few plays later the Ags score. We went for two on account of our kicker is the anti-Johnny. We didn’t get it. Ags up 29-17.
A bunch of other stuff happens.
In the final minutes of the game, Bama has the ball and is trying to move downfield. The score is 29-25 Ags. Because Johnny can’t play both offense and defense, he’s just a man after all, Bama quickly moves the ball down to the five yard line. All they have to do is punch it in. This is what may go down as one of the greatest goal line stands in A&M history. The Aggie defense, which has been playing outstanding football all season, stiffens up. First down, no dice. Second down, no dice. Third down, thanks to Dustin Harris’ game saving solo tackle on AJ McCarron, no dice. Fourth down, AJ McCarron rolls to his right, throws, and is picked off. The Ags run out the clock and win. The media goes nuts. The coaches go nuts. Chuck goes nuts. Johnny doesn’t feel like a nut so he has a Mounds bar instead.
I don’t think the Aggies have ever had a week like this where the media just shower them with love (I’m having an internal debate as to whether “the media” is singular or plural, so please forgive any resulting grammatical errors). Johnny, who has been a dark-horse Heisman candidate, now seems guaranteed to receive an invitation to New York. Top national recruits are calling the Ags to see if there’s room on the roster. People are talking about our assistant coaches getting head coaching jobs. Everyone gets a raise. The Ags might go to a BCS bowl game. We are virtually assured of our first ten win season in a long, long time.
Life is good.
Nothing lasts forever, but for now, life is good and I’m really enjoying being an Aggie. Even the worst potbangers in the world have nothing to say. Life is good.
Well, I do have this one problem. I need tickets for tomorrow’s game. Who in the world would think that I’d be over-committed on tickets for the Sam Houston State game? Right? Oh well. It’s like I tell my kids, sometimes shit don’t work out the way you want it to. Anyway, if you’re one of the people I’ve committed tickets to, you’re fine. But I told some other folks I’d try to find them some tickets. So, if you have extra tickets or know of someone with extra tickets, please let me know. Thanks.
Gig’em and Beat The Hell Outta Sam Houston State!
Chuck ‘96
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