Did you ever break up with someone and they just didn't get it?

US: "Hey, I think we'd both be happier apart. This just isn't working."

THEM: "No, you can't leave. I'll die. My economy will be ruined."

US: "You'll be fine. You'll find someone new. We can still see each other socially."

THEM: "I can change. I really can. It'll be different this time."

US: "Let's not dwell on the past. This is better for both of us."

THEM: "I'll sue. I can't live without you."

US: "Whatever."

THEM: "I found someone new. I never needed you anyway."

US: "OK. Bye."

THEM: "You'll rue the day you left me."

US: "OK. Bye."

THEM: "Did you see my new boyfriend? Jeaolous, aren't you?"

US: "I'm happy for you. Bye."

THEM: "I'll never speak to you again. I don't need you. I never loved you anyway."

US: "OK. Bye."

This thing never seems to end. Some Big 12 schools are boycotting A&M for out of conference games going forward in all sports. I'm not sure how long this hissy fit will last, but it seems like it would need to end at some point. You can't tell me that tech would rather sell 15,000 discounted tickets to play SFA than 55,000 full price tickets for a game against the Ags. But maybe so.

So this week, Kim Mulkey, Baylor's women's basketball coach, came out and announced that Baylor would never, ever play A&M in women's basketball again. Her comment was something like this. "If a man divorces me, fine. But if he comes back later and wants to have sex, the answer is 'no'."

First of all, and I want to be REALLY clear on this, no human, male, female or otherwise, is trying to have sex with Kim Mulkey. She looks like a gaunt, angry skeleton. There's not eneough tequila in all of Mexico. Second, surely she's not operating under the illusion that any of this had anything to do with A) Baylor or B) a sport other than Football. But maybe so.

I really like Gary Blair. He was asked to comment on Kim Mulkey's statement and he could have just held up his national championship trophy and said "neener, neener, neener..." Instead he took the high road and said. "We'll play anybody in the Big 12 who wants to play us as long as it's going to better our RPI schedule and if I'm taking recruits back into that area." and "A lot of it, not playing could be said it's going to be for recruiting. Okay. Throw all that other hogwash out the window. It's for recruiting. But there are about -- correct me if I'm wrong, Peter -- 12 other Division I schools in the state of Texas, and I think a lot of them will be glad to play Texas A&M."

This is not going to be a clean, friendly divorce. It's getting mean and nasty. But, in case you didn't know it, we've been dominating the state in almost all sports for a little while. t.u. hasn't beaten our women's basketball team since 2007. Tech hasn't beaten an A&M team in any sport since 2009. We've got a winning streak in football on every team in Texas. Winning cures everything and as long as we keep winning everything will be fine.

Speaking of continuing to win, we're going up to Ames, Iowa for a little football contest Saturday. I've always liked Iowa State. They seem like nice people. They've been ok from time to time, but have generally been the whipping boy of the conference. This year is no exception, although they are not to be overlooked. I expect the good guys to go up there and win convincingly, hopefully letting some key players get some rest. The game is at 2:30PM on ABC's regional broadcast.

Just a quick couple of thoughts on the Baylor game. The game was closer than the four touchdown lead indicated. Baylor has a very good offense that, unfortunately for them, turned the ball over once on downs on the goal line and missed a short field goal. Our defense came up with some really good stops when it had to. Most years you can dismiss the Baylor win as insignificant just because it's the same thing that has happened in 23 of the last 25 meetings, but this was a good win and a really fun game to watch. Robert Griffin III was simply amazing. By all accounts he's a good kid and one heck of an athlete. The Aggie offense was unstoppable though, and scored on nine straight possessions. It was more than Baylor could overcome. At the end of the day, RGIII or not, they're still Baylor.

Wear maroon. Lots of maroon. People need to see that we're out there and damn proud to be Aggies.

Gig 'em and Beat the Hell Outta Iowa State!

-Chuck '96

Of sand fleas and bear droppings . . .

Great win over Tech. Not so much because it was great football, although there were certainly moments, but because we overcame adversity on the raod and won back to back games in Lubbock for the first time in a long time. We gave up a trash TD late, but for the most part we were ahead by 10 or more points the whole way. We ran back a blocked FG for a TD (thank you Dustin and Trent) and really killed any momentum they had going. The refs were bad. The crowd was bad. But the good guys got it done. Bring on the next victim.

Baylor. Man. I'm not sure what to think of Baylor. Hell, I'm not sure what "Baylor" even means. I'll look it up.

OK. At the crossroads of Google Avenue and Wikipedia Drive, I found the following information. Baylor was founded by an Alabama lawyer, Robert Emmet Bledsoe Baylor, who in 1845 convinced the two other founders to name the university after him (sounds lawyerly). REB Baylor was later a judge and one of the men who penned the unintelligible Texas state constitution. He was also a Jacksonian, the political party that later became the modern day Democratic party. It's unclear why he left Alabama for Texas, but I imagine it had something to do with the ncaa and freeloading. Somehow it's not surprising that there's a lawyer at the root of all this.

I also checked on the other primary source of internet goodness, TexAgs.com for information on Baylor. No definition, but many versions of the name "Baylor" including Bailure (like failure), Gaylor (seems rude to gay people), and Baylro (I don't get this one but it's out there a lot).

I have nothing but contempt and animosity for Baylor these days. For 15 years Baylor did nothing to improve the Big 12. They just sucked from the teets of schools that actually care about football. It's very much like welfare. Not very greatful for the freebie, but watch what happens when you try to take it away. When the whole longhorn / aggie thing became untenable, we decided to part ways amicably but Baylor screwed it up. Ken Starr, a stained blue dress of a human being himself, wrote op ed pieces in the New York Times, the Houston Chronicle and any other paper that would carry his message. He threatened litigation, and draped himself in the American flag while eating apple pie and stabbing TCU, SMU, Houston and Rice in the back. We were held hostage by the man who spent $58 Million to prove that Bill Clinton was a liar and a cheater (stunning revelation). But now that the Big 12 Conference is stable, hey, let's all be friends. Right?

To quote one of my favorite movies, Hoosiers: "Look, mister, there's... two kinds of dumb, uh... guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, uh, guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don't matter, the second one you're kinda forced to deal with."

All I can say is that I've never much cared about this game until this year. I hope we put RGIII on his butt. I want to see this team come out fired up and just stick it to the bears, in both halves.

That said, RGIII (Robert Griffin the 3rd), really is a special talent. He has world class sprinting speed and he's having a phenomonal year. His QB rating is through the roof. He has 19 TD's and one interception. He's completing 80% of his passes. He's got more touchdowns than incompletions. He's the most legitimate Heisman candidate that Baylor has ever had. He's not the toughest hombre in the saloon, but he's a heck of a gun fighter. My recommendation when you're fighting a better gun fighter is to hit him on the head with a chair while you're still in the bar. Don't go out in the street and expect to beat him on the draw.

In football speak, the answer to RGIII is to hit him early and hit him often. He's not a QB that handles contact well. We are one of the top sacking defenses in country. Hopefully we can get him on the ground enough times to shake him up.

In a turn of rotten luck for the Ags, the game is at 11:00 AM. So the crowd may be relatively subdued. I think that's a shame, but it'll work out ok. I'm planning on serving screw-drivers and bloody mary's before the game. It's ok to drink before noon if you have a good reason or a drinking problem.

We'll have breakfast burritos before the game and fajitas after. Let me know if you're coming so I know how much fajita meat to buy (+/- 10 lbs).

Call me if you need anything at all.

Gig 'em and Beat the Hell Outta Baylor!

Chuck '96

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There's a storm brewing in Lubbock, Texas.

Seriously, check the radar. The forecast is for rain during the game.

But the storm I'm referring to is more of a personal storm.

What we're about to witness is a bit of a post-relationship cat fight. The image I have in my mind is of what happens after a break-up when you have to go back and get your stuff from her apartment. Only in this case it's not your ex-girlfriend's apartment. It's her ugly, clingy friend who's had a Fatal Attraction crush on you since the beginning and man, is she upset. She's gonna want to fight, and you just want your Run DMC CD's back. To her it's emotional. She'll want to show you what you'll be missing. To you it's just another horrible trip to the end of the world. At least it's the last time you'll ever have to go there.

But, let's face it. You want to go out on top. You want to walk out of there with your pride in tact and all of your stuff back. The best bet is to just go in there, take care of business, and leave no question about who's in charge. KEEP IN MIND, after you drown Glenn Close in the tub, you have to remember that she's not dead until you put a bullet in her head. Otherwise she's going to jump up out of the water and get you with that butcher knife.

BANG!

And it's over.

I wish the rest of this email was funny. Actually, I wish the first part was funny or funnier. The rest is probably not funny or at least not "funny" in the classic sense of making someone laugh, smile, or even reflect fondly.

Clearly the Fatal Attraction thing is a metaphor for not allowing a tech to come back at the end. They've been doing that and we've been letting teams do that. It should be a high scoring affair. You have one of the best passing teams in the country (ttu) against the team ranked dead last in pass defense (A&M). You also have the team ranked dead last in rush defense (ttu) trying to stop one of the top rushing teams in the country (A&M). The over/under should be 100 points. The Ags are 9.5 point favorites.

The question will be, "what happens in the second half?" I didn't write anything last week before the Arkansas game. It was a busy week and I wasn't sure how I felt after the OSU loss. I can tell you that I was so scarred by the OSU debacle that at half time against Arkansas, up 18, I thought "I wonder if we can hold on to a three score lead this week?" I just didn't have the faith. And the crowd I was sitting with was awful. They didn't stand, they didn't yell. Weak. Just weak. And, believe it or not, when I told them they sucked, they took offense. The whole thing had taken the wind right out of my sails. And everyone knows how that game turned out. Ugghhhh.

If you're looking for answers, part of it is injuries. I'm not sure why no one is talking about this piece. Sure, we brought back eight starters from last year's defense, but three of those eight guys were injured and didn't play against Arkansas (Mathis, Campbell and Judie). And we got a little more banged up as the game went along. So we were missing some key guys and we got just torched in the second half. Still, if the offense hadn't disappeared we could have easily held on to win that game. C-Mike put up a monster game, but had a critical fumble late. Tanny had a solid game, except for the way underthrown pass to Fuller that was easily intercepted. Either of those two plays go differently, and the whole game has a different complexion. And for the 3rd week in a row, we forced no turnovers of our own. Just writing about makes me want a drink. Is it too early for a scotch? Maybe a bloody mary.

Still, I actually feel pretty confident this week. Tech hasn't really played anyone yet (Tx St. 3-2, NM 0-5, NV 1-4, KS 2-2 ) and I'd say we're a battle hardened team. Since the naughty pirate left Lubbock for deeper waters, I've felt a lot better about that place in general. It's still a dump, but it's a dump where we can win. I think you'll see a much improved defense this week. Expect to see some youth injected into the defense (Toney Hurd, Shaun Ward, Floyd Raven) and a simpler defensive scheme. And expect to see an offense absolutely destroy an inferior team. We'll give up some points, but we're not going to take our foot off the gas. Now, I'm starting to feel more optimistic.

And there is plenty to be optimistic about. First, we've got a top ten offense. We're #1 in sacks per game and #3 in sacks allowed per game. We're actually #5 in rush defense (although we're still literally dead last passing defense #120). I see us pounding the ball against tech and beating them in the trenches. I think they'll have to play their safeties up to compensate and we'll burn them on some deep throws. I see the good guys winning and covering the spread.

At the end of the day, we've only lost one conference game. We've lost two total games to two top ten teams by a combined total of 5 points. We're not a bad team at all. We can be a very good team. There's no reason we can't run the table and finish strong here. It starts on Saturday in Lubbock at 6:00 PM CST. The game will be on Fox.

Gig 'em and Beat the Hell Outta Texas Tech!

Chuck '96