OU don't know what to expect.

Did you get the double entendre there? I worked for literally seconds on that one. See, (1) "OU doesn't know what to expect from us." - OR - "Oh, you don't know what to expect.", implying that peoples' perceptions about this game may be off. Expect the unexpected. Oh the english language is magical.

I included some new folks on the email this week, Chris, Mike and John . They stopped by the tailgate on accident Satuday and got suckered into sticking around for a while. I thought I would throw them into the fire. Guys, I take up a little of everyone's time each week to ramble about the game and whatever else comes to mind. If you'd rather not receive it, just let me know and I'll drop your names. No worries.

I want to briefly touch on the Missouri game and then move on.

SH*%, G*%D*&M, SON OF B*&%H, ()*&$# *&#$@*#)&#^)&*^@)*&^$(*@#$^)*(@$)*(^&#%$&*(%(&*%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok. That's about all I have to say about that.

Let's examine our next opponent, OU.

OU is a very good team with an impeccable home field record. Historically we haven't faired well in Norman. You may recall that some years ago we let one slip away late and lost 77-0 up there. They're ranked in the top 10, again. They beat the whorns by 38 points earlier this year. The line on the game is OU by 16.5.

By any rational analysis, you would have to assume that we're not favored in this one. I will instead, then, rely on irrational analysis.

First, we'll look at what I call the "Toddler Effect". The Toddler Effect goes something like this: I have a 2 year old son, and I know that eventually he will stop cr*pping in his pants. Same for the Ags. The Toddler Effect.

Second, we'll examine what I call the "Roy Sullivan" effect or alternatively the "Lightning Really Does Strike Twice in the Same Place" theory. See, Roy Sullivan has been struck by lightning seven times. Everyone assumes that it just doesn't happen, but sometimes it does. OU really could lose consecutive home games. Roy Sullivan.

Next we'll look at the Platypus Theory. The Platypus Theory states that since God has a sense of humor (hence the existence of duck billed platypi) any number of other funny things could happen just to amuse him. Don't you think God would find humor in A&M beating OU two years in a row? I know I would.

Lastly, we'll look at the Blind Squirrel hypothesis. As everyone knows, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while. Well, I think we may find an acorn up in Norman. For us that would be putting together four complete quarters of football. The thing is, it has to happen more often than you would assume, or the blind squirrels would all be dead (starvation). It's not as unlikely as you think. Blind Squirrel.

In reality, we've got the talent on offense to win up in Norman. We really do. But, it's a little like me having the capacity to lose weight. I'm very comfortable that it's possible. I'm just not sure how likely it is. That said, I am on a diet right now and I'm down 3 pounds this week. So who knows?

OU is a good team with a good set of coaches. So are we. We've had a lot of injuries on defense and every week we've had to cobble together a different set of players just to field a team. It's not surprising that they've not come along as much as we had expected this year. That said, I do think the defense has gotten incrementally better each week. We'll have to see what happens tomorrow.

Our offense is as good or better than any offense in the country when they are firing on all cylinders. Every one of our offensive starters could start or be close to it on any team in the country. There is no one on offense that you have to make excuses for. I can't explain the offense disappearing in the second half of games. I have no excuse for it, but I don't think it's a talent issue. I think this one is on playcalling. That can be fixed.

I'm going up to Norman to watch this game. I'm going to do all that I can to help the team along. I'm tired of listening to all the whiny pot bangers. People act like we've been relegated to the Sunbelt Conference and perpetual mediocrity. "It's over and there's nothing we can do. We'll never win again."

Bull Butter!

Sure, this season has been a kick in the pants, but SO WHAT? When you get thrown from a horse, what do you do? You don't just get back on, you go whip the sh*t out of the horse, and then you get back on. It's time to rally around the team and the coach. These are my guys. They aren't mercenaries. They're Aggies. They go to the same class rooms I went to as a student. The eat in the same places. They're Aggies. They love A&M just as much as I do. They leave it all out on the field every week for A&M. They're my guys. And I just can't imagine abandoning them right now.

So, I'm driving up to Norman, Oklahoma tomorrow morning, and if my team and my coach can't do it, then I will personally BEAT THE EVER LOVIN HELL OUTTA OU all by myself!!!! And Tim too, of course. I'll let him clear out the easy ones up front and I'll come in after to take care of the rest. ;)

This game is on ABC at 2:30 PM. You'll want to watch just in case I get called in there at the end.

Gig 'em and Beat the Hell Outta OU!

Chuck '96

The First of Many

Howdy!

Betcha thought this was all behind you. :)

Autumn is in the air. The leaves are turning brown, the grass is dying... ...and my yard gnome spontaneously burst into flames.

Autumn, right?

It seems like the fall ought to be here. I'm ready for it. Football is starting to unveil itself once again in dramatic fashion and I've had about enough of this *%$^# summer.

In case you missed it, here's a quick recap of Aggie sports in the 2010 - 2011 school year. We were good to great in everything except Volleyball, Women's Tennis, and Cross Country. We won nine conference championships and three national championships (four if you count equestrian), the most of any school in the Big 12. The Women's basketball team won the ncaa tournament. Pat Henry's Track & Field teams each won an unprecedented 3rd consecutive National Championship in Outdoor Track & Field. The baseball team went to Omaha for the first time since 1999. The Basketball team went to the ncaa tournament again, not losing until the second round to a surprisingly good Florida State team. Softball, Soccer, Men's Golf, Men's Tennis and Baseball all finished in the top ten. I lose track of everything else, but it was a really good year. Finished 8th overall in the Learfield Director's Cup standings. As a point of comparison, t.u. whose athletic budget is 60% larger than A&M's finished ($120 Million vs. $74 Million) finished 12th overall.

And, of course, there was Football. What an exciting season. We won our last six regular season games in a row after finally putting Ryan Tannehill in for Jerrod Johnson. You can only imagine what would have happened if we had made the change at QB earlier in the season. Would we have had five turnovers in Stillwater allowing OSU to come back from a double digit second half deficit to kick a game winner as the clock ran out? Would we have let Missouri beat us in Kyle Field? What else might have been different for the Aggies? No one knows for certain, but I'm comfortable saying that we'd most likely have had the chance to turn down an Obama invitation to the White House.

In spite of that missed opportunity, we won nine games and beat OU, Nebraska and t.u. (in Austin) all in the same season. We eventually lost to a very good LSU team in the Cotton Bowl (which all of the t-sip players got to see because they were home with momma). Coach Sherman went from the hot seat to a raise and contract extension.

Man, I love football.

Now, why would I say that football is "unveiling itself in dramatic fashion"? Here it goes: Recently the Longhorn Network (LHN) announced that they would carry high school football games of athletes they were recruiting. Everyone cried fowl and the Aggies threatened to head to the SEC. Then LHN announced a deal to air t.u. conference football game, only they hadn't talked to the other conference teams about it. Everyone cried fowl and the Aggies threatened to head to the SEC. Then LHN announced that some of these high-school games might feature out of state recruits... You could actually hear the collective grunt of alarm from Alabama, Ohio State, Michigan, Florida, LSU and all of the other schools who thought t.u. was only a pain in A&M's butt. And, you guessed it, everyone really cried fowl and the Aggies threatened to head to the SEC. The Big 12 said "Hey, Mr. Bigshot, who do you think you are?" and declared no high school or conference games on LHN this year.

At the Big 12-2 media days, Dan Beebe has been trying his best to not show that he knows his time is up. Mack Brown had the gumption to say that national broadcasts of high school games on a network literally plastered with t.u. propaganda would in no way be a recruiting advantage. How could he tell such a lie right through his butter colored teeth? Unbelievable. Meanwhile, A&M is quietly showing former students new plans to overhaul Kyle Field and to build an "athletic village" the likes of which no one has ever seen. Of course having never seen an athletic village, who can say if it is a good village or a bad one. The price tag leads me to believe it's going to be a dandy. Add to all of that the fact that A&M is already racking up one heck of a recruiting class for 2012, and there's been enough summer football to keep anyone's attention.

We'll be very good this year with 10 returners on offense and 8 on defense. In our second year in the 3-4 Deruyter defense we should be as good or better than we were last year in spite of losing Von Miller, the second overall pick in the NFL draft. Our offense features the two best runners in the Big 12, a gritty O-line, an all-American wide receiver, and one tough SOB at QB. I like our chances. In all honesty, we could win every game on our schedule. I think we're likely to win all of them except OU. A lot of good teams have gone into Norman happy and headed back out a lot less so over the last ten years. I was there for 77-0, so I'm reluctant to predict a win, but I do think it's possible.

Would 11 regular season wins be enough? Maybe. I'm hoping for 12. I'm awfully excited about this upcoming season. I hope you got that from everything I wrote above. You know my motto, "Never miss a meal." But I've also been known to say "Why use ten words when a thousand will do?" Right? Anyway, this post is just a test. No jokes and very little wit or substance (clearly different from my normal literary masterpieces). I just want to get it out there to let you know that (1.) I have not died yet; and (2.) Football is coming.

Gig 'em and Beat the Hell Outta this Goddam Heat!
Chuck Berend '96